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Alex Ostergaard

The Confident You

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I used to be an addict
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I used to be an addict.

I used to be an addict. I used to spend all my days chasing a high… That I would never fully reach. It felt good in the moment, but there was always a brutal crash. And the more I chased it, the further it got away. It left me drained, overwhelmed and often resentful. I would neglect myself and end up in many unwanted situations. Sometimes getting home at 7am after a night out. It took me 30 years to finally admit I had a problem. And I’ve been in recovery for the last 3 years. “My name is...

about 1 year ago • 2 min read

Read past editions here. I have a history of running away from my problems. When I was unhappy at Google in London… ↳ I escaped to work at Uber in Amsterdam. When I burnt out while working at Uber… ↳ I escaped corporate life to be a freelancer. When I felt miserable as a freelancer… ↳ I escaped to go travelling. When I couldn’t find meaning in my life… ↳ I escaped by becoming a Life Coach. The thing about escaping your problems is that eventually, they catch up. For me it happened 3 months...

15 days ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. As a rule of thumb: We tend to regret more the things we DIDN’T do than the things we DID do. And one of the biggest regrets people have on their Deathbeds: “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself”. But Courage doesn’t exist without fear. So it’s actually your fears that are holding you back from living a life true to yourself. And it’s not doing anything about them that will lead you to have the most regrets. I recently filmed a new video where I...

22 days ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. Have you ever heard of the distinction between finite and infinite games? It's a concept that I discovered recently and it’s changed the way I look at life. In a finite game, like football or chess, the rules are fixed, the players are known and the endpoint is clear. The goal? To win! But when someone wins or loses the game is over. In an infinite game however, the rules are dynamic and there is no clear endpoint. The goal isn't to win but to keep playing. The goal...

29 days ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. I hear this one all the time: “Quit your job & do what you love”. But it’s so vague and just leads to confusion. I love eating Peanut Butter. Should I quit my job to do it full time? If only… 😋 But the truth is: Most people don’t have a clear passion. And definitely not one that can be turned into a new career. But chasing this idea of “Doing what you love” IS NOT what will give you a sense of purpose. If you currently feel lost and don’t know what you’re doing with...

about 1 month ago • 2 min read

Read past editions here. I used to compare myself a lot to my other colleagues. They always seemed to be doing better than me. They were confident, involved in so many projects and never appeared to be struggling. This was a huge cause of anxiety for me because it made me feel like a fraud. It also made me feel overwhelmed about how much work I needed to do just to be at their level. Eventually this was one of the reasons I burnt out. But one of my biggest Reality Check moments was when I had...

about 1 month ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. A couple of years ago I remember sharing a new Personal Best with my Dad. I had run a mile in just over 5 mins. And his response was: “next time you can do it in under 5”. I know he had the best intentions and he was trying to motivate me. But this really triggered me and it made me feel angry… It touched upon my limiting belief of not being enough. But that emotional response wasn’t my own, it was the response of me as 6 year old being told “why didn’t you get an A*...

about 2 months ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. Self-Confidence vs Self-Worth… What’s the difference? One of my clients asked me this question last week. And to be honest, it wasn’t a question I had ever given that much deep thought to. Despite doing a lot of work on both of these topics, I had never really reflected on the difference between the two. But then yesterday (out of the blue)… one of my previous clients sent me a post he read about this exact topic. And it was too good not to share. Jamie Kern Lima...

about 2 months ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. I used to be addicted to external validation. I needed praise from my parents, my friends, my partner, my manager. It motivated me to do things: Excel in sports Be visible at work Chase promotions Be the life of the party Post cool pics on instagram But the problem with doing this was that I was fully reliant on others to feel good about myself. And when I wasn’t receiving praise or getting the reaction I hoped for: I felt like absolute sh*t. So over the last 5 years...

2 months ago • 1 min read

Read past editions here. During the first Lockdown in 2020… I was feeling lost and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had burnt out from working in Big Tech and didn’t want to go back. I still needed to make money but didn’t know where to start. That’s when I had an epiphany: “OMG I think I want to be a Life Coach” Suddenly, everything made sense. I could get paid to just talk to people and help them with their problems. This would give my life meaning…I would finally have a...

3 months ago • 2 min read

Read past editions here. Do you ever feel like life is steering you rather than the other way around? Well, you’re not alone. But here’s the secret: Regaining control isn’t about gripping the wheel tighter. It’s about knowing when to steer and when to let the road take you. Here are 5 strategies I like to use in order to do this: 1) Recognise What You Can Control You’ll never be able to control all external circumstances, but what you can control is your attitude and your actions. As Maya...

3 months ago • 1 min read
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